Life has a tendency to knock us down. Now some of us are able to bounce back up and keep moving on.
Relax, and Don’t Stress
During my time away at Uni, I was under a lot of pressure. I felt I just wasn’t moving forward, it was like the saying “I am take one step forward and two steps back.” What I mean by this is no matter how hard I tried to get things done, I was always falling behind. Now it’s one thing if I was a regular student, but I wasn’t I was one with a disability. Despite having regular meetings with my advisors, I was still struggling to keep ahead of the game.
When we first had our first assessments which is like a mid-term test to see how we are doing, I struggled in one class. I had no clue of anything, it was like the material was just not sticking with me. The good thing about the assessment is it was a take home.. The bad thing about the class no real books to go off of, just our notes.
So here I am, pulling what hair I have out, stressing, when I see my friend Suzanne online, I tell her I am stressing over this and her words to this day were “Put down the paper and come to the meeting”. A smile came over my face just I put the paper down. Now the meeting she was talking about was my Hogwarts Society Meeting. From that point on, she was my light at the end of the tunnel. and she has been my good friend ever since.
Now time of the finals comes around and I am so stressing. Now keep in mind, I have never really studied for a final before. I know shocking isn’t it.
So I figure I try to cram, boy was I wrong.. I do not know how they expect you to get all this information in and remember it.
Breath and Don’t Panic
I realized this meant I had to do a re-test around the time I had to write my dissertation, this is when I went to my disability advisor and said “What I am going to do?” “I also have to worry about my dissertation to write” He was on the phone, so I sat down and waited. He made a call and got me set up with a excellent Well Being Advisor named Coral.
She was great. She got me on a study schedule. The only problem is I followed to the point of burning out. What I mean is, I would do nothing but eat, sleep and study, no time to relax and unwind. Even my friends noticed I looked worn out. To the point of one of them telling me I look like shit.. I took that to heart. I hadn’t really took time to let the information soak in and given myself time to just relax.
Talk a Walk and Enjoy the View
Now this may seem almost cliche, but it helped tremendously. I say this because of two things. I had two well being advisors Coral and Stone.. Coral has once told me “There is a difference between knowing something and understanding it.” What she was referring to was how to study for something. Just because you remember what your studying, doesn’t mean you truly understand it. I knew what she meant, because my other advisor Stone told me about this pathway that lead to a apple orchard and it was on that pathway I was walking where, I realized I was going over stuff in my exam in my head and I understood it to where I knew what I was talking about.
I also owe a thanks to my friends who gave me a little help, I put a request to my friends for study tips, and they came through. What they told was to study for 10mins and take a 5min break and you will all of a sudden understand everything.
Now this is how I handled my set backs in Uni, but I was also dealt with some set backs in like, like losing two volunteer jobs and losing my father, my cousin, and close neighbors.
Always Look to the Brighter Side
One of the things I try to do, is always look at the bright side of things. In the case of losing my volunteer jobs, I look at it as, it’s their loss not mine and I have two supervisors who loved working with me.
As with my father, I knew he would be in a better place. But one of the things I have learned is you need to let yourself cry. There were times I try to hold them back, and it was no good, I would just break down and cry. But afterwards I felt so much better
Even in my travel, I hit set backs. A good example of this is when I was in Rome. I decided to set off from my comforts of my hotel, to find a place to eat. I just started walking around looking at the sites and enjoying the scenery. I did find a place to eat, and than I had to find my place back. This is where I got a little lost.
This is when I remembered what my advisor told me “Don’t Panic and Relax” helped me out so much. This is because if I was to panic, I would made things worse. But I was able to find help and get my way back to the hotel.
Talk to Someone
As I am going though such a hard time with, not being able to find work. When I look at the world around us, it’s hard finding work now a days, this is because most companies say they want someone with experience, well in order to get the experience you need to get hired, so it’s a catch 22.
This is enough to bring anyone down, who has been looking for a long time. I as I mentioned before, talking to someone is very important. It is not good to hold things back. Because if you talk to someone, it could be your parent or sibling or a close friend, maybe they can see things in a different perspective and help open your eyes. I will admit I didn’t want to talk to anyone about my problems, but I thought about it, and said to myself, I will only talk to someone who works with people with Asperger’s, and that’s how I found my life coach.
All the things I mentioned are ways I was able to get through life, without falling apart. I can say, there are days I find myself crying in the shower or when I feel down.. That’s when getting out and either walking my dog or just going for a walk helps me clear my head.