LIVE, LOVE AND MOURN

I know, I have talked about coping and I how I cope in situations. But dealing with loss is a very hard topic. Part of it is, I am bit more emotional than others. Now you may ask why am I bringing this up. The reason is, as I take stock of my life, I realize how many people I have lost to sickness or health.

When you look at your life, you need to take stock of the people around you and only surround yourself with those who only have your best interest at heart, these are the people who will help get through the loss and make sure you bounce back on your feet.

It’s OK to cry

I can count the number of times I have broken down crying. I could be in the middle of doing something and a thought or memory would come into my my mind and I would break down and have a good cry.

A good example of this is, It was like a few months after my father passed I had this very real dream where I was downstairs in my basement working on the TV and I saw my dad come down the stairs, I remember telling him “I be done with the TV in a minute, and I was going to ask how he slept” and at that very moment it hit me, he was gone from my life. I just woke up and crying.

In our society people tend to believe that crying is a sign of weakness. But it is really not. It is a coping mechanism . Don’t let others tell you different. Crying is also a good release.

There are certain things you can do to help with the grief.

Celebrate

As weird as that sounds, celebrate that persons life. If that person loved to dance go dancing or in the case of my father, we would go out to eat on his birthday, this is because he loved to eat.

Cherish

Cherish the memories and keep them close to you heart. Keep photos of the people, This is so helpful, because so many times you forget with times you forget what they looked like. I kinda am lucky because a lot of people say I looked like my father. At one point I was embarrassed about it, but now I am proud to look like my father. I will always carry his memories with me.

Talk to Them

This may sound weird. But after I lost my beloved pet, I was told by a pet grief counselor to go find the brightest start in the sky and imagine that’s a window to the heavens and talk to it like your talk to them. You will be amazed how you feel after doing so.

I have been a stern believer in that the dead can hear our thoughts and prayers. Every night or morning I would walk up to my dads computer and just say I love you dad and know in my heart he hears me.

We all mourn and grief in different ways. The emptiness will always be there. I read this beautiful saying some where it has always stuck with me to this day

The people you have in your life grow and occupy space in the tapestry that makes up your life. When they are gone, it makes a hole where they used to be. The memories and love are still there and may always be there. So don’t look at your tapestry as filled with holes- look at it as your own unique lace pattern. The pattern isn’t over, but it is constantly changing. The pain of loss doesn’t ever really go away, but it does lessen over time.

Never Stop

What I mean by this is, keep those memory’s alive, keep going on with your life, if you find yourself struggling don’t be ashamed to get help.